Speaking of things that go boom in the night - last night the windows were really rockin' and rollin' and at first I just said - oh - must be some fireworks somewhere - but couldn't figure out what sort of holiday November 5th was. Strained my poor head (given my recent calendar output experience I'm an expert on holidays) but couldn't figure it out.
BOOM. BOOM. BOOM went the sky. Not thunder. Can't be a terrorist thing, it sounds like it's on timers.
Look out my back window into the alley (only window I have) and see others with their heads out craning towards the tiny corner of the sky - but can't see anything exploding.
Cat jumps down in terror and runs to a neutral corner.
I shut the window and figure someone will wake me if this is the big one.
Looked this morning in google for New York fireworks news and found the answer:
"ING announces: Dinner followed by fireworks in Central Park and live entertainment."
Ah - it was a pre-marathon fireworks blast. I wish they'd make some public announcement before they set this stuff off.
ANNOUNCER: Friends, Romans, residents: We come not to scare the freakin' hell out of you, but just to give a bit more promotion to an overly promoted event.
I've seen the orange ING - banners all over the neighborhood for the last week now. Should have put two and two together.
Look - I know the marathon is a great triumph to the human spirit and all that but why do they need to run through the whole city to prove how motivated they are? One thing I'll tell you - they don't stay in the Bronx very long. Just a quick touch and back down to Manhattan.
I know, I know - how inspiring it is. The pubs on the upper east side are happily filled. The sponsors are happily filled. Everybody's happy. It's a great achievement. A monument to the human spirit.
Reminds me more of those dance marathons they used to have to raise money (They Shoot Horses Don't They). There's just something excessive and possibly freakish about the whole marathon around the city thing - and I sort of wish they'd just nip it in the bud. Too late now I guess.
Don't they know that in a couple of years they'll all be sitting around with plastic bands on their knees tottlin' around the town.
The whole thing is just - well - un-American. How are we supposed to compete with our lungs filled with urban soot - against kids who grew up running from one village to another to go to school in the purified air of - oh - Kenya maybe?
Not to mention that our whole country is about 800% overweight according to the last fat poll.
Business sponsors this thing because it symbolizes the purity of purpose of the human spirit. Not exactly what the big banks are all about.
Speaking of big banks, did you notice the last Citibank campaign: there's more to life than money? Live well?
Sorry boys - but I don't buy it. Not from you. You spend every waking minute trying to figure out how to get the last dime out of my pocket and tell me there's more to life than money: that from a bank? You can only Orwell me so much.
Citibank telling me that there's more to life than money? Who do they think they're foolin' with that one.
Anyway - that's my take on the whole marathon thing. Wake me when it's over.
[The views expressed in this post are solely those of Mr. Beckerman, and do not represent the philosophy of DaveBeckerman.com Inc. DaveBeckerman.com is a proud sponsor of the New York City Marathon. We don't actually contribute anything financially to it, but we sponsor it in our own way which must remain classified because of national security. Editor]
