2/13/2006

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

WASHINGTON, Feb. 12 — Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a prominent Austin, Tex., lawyer on Saturday while the two men were quail hunting in South Texas, firing a shotgun at the man while trying to aim for a bird, a member of the hunting party said.

An unnamed source blamed the accident on poor intelligence. A spokesman for Mr. Cheney insisted that this was just an accident and not an attempt by Mr. Cheney to step up the administrations attack on trial lawyers.

Another witness stated that this was one of the reasons that they don't let you get too close to the vice president.

One witness stated that the wounded lawyer, Mr. Whittington was heard to say, "I'll contribute more next time" before the shooting - but that could not be confirmed.

There is also a rumor that the Democrats have sent an invitation to Justice Alito to go duck hunting with the Vice President.

2 comments:

SteveR said...

When I checked the NYTimes Online Edition yesterday and saw this story, I had to check to see if I had been asleep for two months and it was really April 1st.

The whole thing sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit. Darrell Hammond, I'm talkin' to you!

Dave Beckerman said...

My favorite line so far (Jay Leno)

"When the ambulance finally arrived, they took Dick Cheney by force of habit."